specialagentmozart

One of the most remarkable Brothers of the Society of Horus is a very special secret agent who is known to us only as "F".

How I met him is part of another story, but Special Agent F is a remarkable American gentleman whose public image of printer, publisher, and politician is but a clever ruse to hide his true profession. He is, in fact, the greatest inventor of secret weaponry and devices ever known to civilized man.

Agent F was the first man to harness electrictity, but he realized that this powerful substance was was too dangerous to ever let fall into the hands of the general public. His famous journal, "Poor Richard's Almanac", was a remarkable handbook filled with hidden clues and passwords, many of which have never been deciphered by outsiders--ha ha!

As the greatest scientific genius connected to the Society of Horus, he keeps a laboratiory full of wonderful contraptions, tubes, tesla coils, jacob's ladders, and machines that go "ping" when you turn them on. For instance, his laboratory was the first place in all the known world to have electric lights and switches, hidden away in the bottom of ...well, I can say no more. Suffice it to say that as a Special Agent of the SOH, I am equipped with the following inventory:

1. Use of the glass armonica--

Agent F invented a wonderful musical instrument of glass bells which I myself composed several short pieces for. Agent F was well aware of the power of music, and also how easily the glass armonica coul get on people's nerves. (please do not refer to it as a glass "Harmonica", because that was the name of his earlier effort--the one that played wierd bass rhythms, cymbals and snare drums when he pushed little buttons. Very disturbing.)

It can be used as a weapon at the drop of a handerchief, and the bowls are great for eating out of. when you're in a pinch.

2. The Repeating Flintlock--

This useful weapon looks like an ordinary dueling pistol, but can fire a round of dozens of shots--so long as the batteries last.

3. Mirrored Dark Glasses--

Having perfected the bifocals and the half-lens reading glasses, every agent is equipped with a pair of the latter--dark on the outside, clear on the inside, and with little periforal mirrors along the frame rims. And they don't fog up, either!

4. Lightning Rods--

In my case, my portable lightning rod is disguised as a violin bow. This comes in handy when the power packs are running low.

5. Electric Torches--

Some of you today would call it a flashlight. Then again, some would not.

6. A variety of false identification profiles, printed by Agent F himself.

This is all I can speak of at the moment, but I understand Agent F is working on a new stove which will not only warm his laboritory more efficiently and provide a quick place to burn secret papers, but is also pretty good at keeping his coffee warm.

This is where Agent F keeps his Top Secret laboritory, including his remarkable printing press, "Old Betsy". The wonders of modern technology! With this, I could have avoided all those expensive and sticky-fingered copyists who used to plague my life.

It is here, in the secrecy of the secret laboritory that he invented his Glass Armonica.

Itis also here where he prints off copies of "Poor Richard's Almanac", which contains such significant phrases as,

"A stitch in Time Saves Nine"

"A Penny Saved is a Penny Earned"

"Smile--they'll wonder what

you're up to"---

--and other such things.